


Kids Say the Darndest Things

by Moggiye20



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: 1000 percent wholesome crack, Fluff and Crack, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, implied pegging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 18:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17667707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moggiye20/pseuds/Moggiye20
Summary: There's no heart attack quite like having your four year old son nearly out the relationship you and your wife are having with the Marshal of the Crownsguard to the leaders of other countries.





	Kids Say the Darndest Things

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was chatting with [anruiukimi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anruiukimi) about my knitting project and this rabid crack bunny attacked me out of nowhere. 
> 
> Also I know little to nothing about royal etiquette, just so we're clear.

Aulea watched with amused eyes from her place near the empty fireplace as her husband bid their wayward lover goodnight. They were staying at their villa in Galdin Quay for the week to give Regis time away from the palace. “I think we were a little over zealous last night, husband dearest,” she said, holding her hand out to Regis to join her on the chesterfield.

“Whatever gave you that idea, my queen?” Regis asked, settling down between her spread legs, curling up to rest his head on her chest.

She ran her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp. “He’s hiding it well but Clarus commented about his limp at lunch.”

“Well, it has been a while since he was last acquainted with that sizeable cock of yours.” Regis grinned when he was smacked upside the head for his crass words.

“As I recall you both insisted it was a fine size and not to go with the smaller one. Maybe someone should have ignored the begging and ensured he was properly stretched,” Aulea scolded.

“But he’s so pretty when he finally starts begging, it’s hard to say no,” Regis pouted. He caught her hand to stop her from smacking him again and kissed her fingertips instead. “I promise we didn’t get up to anything to rambunctious tonight. I checked him over, he's tender but he’ll be fine.”

Aulea shifted them so Regis was at eye level with her. “Good, now did you save any for me?”

“Always, love.”

The preoccupied couple missed the squeak of weight shifting on the staircase.

~~~~~

They were greeted with a delightful surprise when not only the first secretary of Accordo Camelia Claustra joined them for lunch the following day, but also the queen of Tenebrae, Sylva Via Fleuret.

Clarus stood by his seat and watched as Aulea eagerly greeted her long time friend and Regis shook hands with Camelia. “Ladies, we are delighted to see you both here. What is the occasion?” Regis said, motioning to the servants to change the table to accommodate two more people. 

“Well as you know the summit meeting between our countries is next week,” Camelia said, thanking the young lad who got her a seat and sat down.

“And a little bird informed me you two were all the way out here so I asked The First Lady if she fancied a trip out early,” Sylva said, sitting down as well and getting a cup for tea.

They spent lunch chatting and were just wrapping things up when four year old Noctis came running up with Ignis and Cor in tow, babbling about the fish he tried to catch.

Sylva was just finishing up a knitting project when Noctis went to greet her with a hug. “Hello!” He greeted her, sand dusting his cheek.

She set the scarf aside and returned the hug, hauling him up to sit on her lap. “Hello, young prince, enjoying the waters I see.”

“Yup!” Noctis chirped. “I’m gonna be an expert like Daddy!”

The adults at the table chuckled. Ignis politely piped up, “Your latest project, Your Majesty?” He looked to the scarf.

“Yes,” Sylva smiled, holding it out to the youngster to feel the soft material. “It simply needs washing and then I’ll need to pin it out to ensure it stretches evenly.”

“You should give it to Daddy to stretch!” Noctis said, grabbing a pastry from Sylva’s plate. “He stretches Uncle Cor out lots after bedtime.”

The silence that followed that innocent statement was swiftly interrupted by the sound of Camelia and Regis choking on their drinks.

“Ah, children, they do say the darndest things,” Clarus chuckled and stood quickly, plucking Noctis from Sylva’s lap before the boy could utter more scandalous comments. “Come along Ignis, Cor, I heard Aldare’s received some new lures.”

Aulea offered Camelia a cloth to wipe her mouth, as Clarus led the boys and a blotchy red-faced Cor away from the villa. “I am so sorry, Camelia.”

“Your apologies are accepted but unnecessary,” Camelia smiled at her. “It’s hardly your fault you’re acquainted with dirty old woman,” she winked at Regis. “I’ve heard tales of Cor Leonis’ battles, I’m sure he could use all the help to keep his limbs limber. Now Sylva, to whom are you gifting that lovely scarf to?”

Aulea knew better than to question the legitimacy of the first lady’s comment and eagerly latched onto the change of subject. After all, it would hardly do the Lucis royals any good if word got out the married king was bedding the commander of his guard.

**Author's Note:**

> Does Camelia actually know what Noctis meant? Or does she just believe she heard dirty? Find out next time on King's Knight! :P


End file.
